Cutting to the Quick
by RevSue
Summary: CnJ fic which takes place late in the summer following PD1 ... Mia has returned to the United States, and Genovia is suffering through a strike AND an unusual heat wave.


_Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, unfortunately. They belong to Disney, and in a small way to Meg Cabot as well, although neither of THEM allow Joseph and Clarisse to behave as their fans would wish! At least I let them have the fun and the loving they SHOULD have, even if I make no money! Sue (mainer/SJS) started this story ... I merely continued it ..._

Clarisse sighed as she tried to get that last strand of hair into place. Could this week get any worse? Parliament had yet to approve the new contract for government employees and all non-essential workers were told to stay home. This was day four without her ladies' maids and it was starting to show. Clarisse was becoming flustered and this heat …. well, this heat just magnified the issues, especially since the air conditioners in the palace had stopped working three days ago and no one was coming in to fix it due to the strike. Glancing once more in the mirror, Clarisse gave up.

"This will just have to be good enough for today," she grumbled to herself. She tugged at her skirt, then, with a quick look around to make sure she was alone, she rubbed her chest which had been itching ferociously ever since she had put on her bra. What on EARTH was wrong? She knew why she wasn't feeling terribly comfortable in her panties, since the laundry staff were also considered non-essential and had not done a washing for quite a while. All her other panties had lately caused the same itching she was now experiencing with her bra. Today Clarisse had been reduced to wearing the skimpy thong Mia had given her as a joke a few weeks ago. It had taken her a while to figure out how to put the silly thing ON, finally deciding that the three rosebuds had to go on the front and the trailing ribbons were to be used as ties on the sides. Thongs were MOST uncomfortable, she decided now, but at least it wasn't itching the way her bra was!

When she stepped into the room, Clarisse saw her aide fanning herself with some papers whilst perusing others in her hand. "Good morning, Charlotte! Has there been any progress with the contract negotiations this morning?" Clarisse was hoping desperately that Charlotte would say yes. If not, she was going to have to do a laundry HERSELF ... today, if possible!

"I am afraid not, Your Majesty. I am sorry to say that the two sides have even stopped negotiating. I just don't know how much longer this can go on without a resolution," Charlotte shook her head as she stood up to pour Her Majesty's morning tea which had been kept warm on a side table. "Toast and peanut butter this morning again, Your Majesty?"

"That would be wonderful, Charlotte. I can't thank you enough for your support these last few days. I don't know what I would have done without you."

"Thank you," was all Charlotte managed as her cheeks reddened. "I'll go get your breakfast now ..." Then she paused, seeing Clarisse frowning and tugging at her blouse again. "Is anything wrong, your Majesty?"

"Oh!" Clarisse immediately stopped fussing with her clothes, then sighed. The itch was becoming unbearable! "Actually ... I can't figure out why I'm so itchy ..." Seeing that she and Charlotte were alone, she hurriedly undid some of her blouse buttons, and gasped when she saw the red patches on her chest.

"Your Majesty!" Charlotte was horrified. "You must be having a reaction to the new laundry soap that was tried on the lingerie!"

An allergic reaction! Clarisse sighed. "Of course. What am I to do? I have nothing else!"

"Take the bra off ..." Charlotte said at last. "You can't keep it on, or the rash will spread! Your blouse is heavy enough ... and you have the silk scarf. You can sort of place that strategically when you go into the parliament session. If the air conditioner was working, you could wear a jacket, but you'd be way too hot today if you tried that. I'll see to your lingerie right away, to get the soap residue out of it all. But you'll have to take your bra off now."

Clarisse hesitated a moment, but her skin was beginning to burn. "You're right." She instantly unfastened the rest of her buttons, removed her bra, and slipped her blouse back on hurriedly. The cool silk felt good on her breasts, soothing the irritated skin almost immediately. "Oh, this is MUCH better!"

Charlotte nodded. "I'll get your breakfast, then I'll go gather up all your lingerie. I'm sorry I can't have it done in time for the meeting later this morning ..."

"I'm just grateful you're willing to do something about it so that today is the last day I have to worry about THIS!" Clarisse shrugged her shoulders, and the slide of the silk over her skin felt incredibly ... sensuous. She almost choked. What was she thinking? Already her nipples were peaking. Hurriedly she crossed her arms over her chest and sat down at her desk, pretending to become absorbed in the papers.

When Charlotte had left for the kitchen, Clarisse stood up again, and began to sip her tea as she opened the doors to allow the fresh air to fill the room. 'It's such a beautiful morning,' she thought to herself. Hearing the office door swing open after a discreet knock, she turned. "Oh, good morning, Joseph!"

"Your Majesty, you are looking well," Joseph chuckled as he made a slight bow in the Queen's direction.

Clarisse smiled, then became more aware than ever at the feel of her breasts growing heavy as Joseph's gaze passed quickly over them. What was happening to her this morning? Wasn't it enough that she should feel scandalized at wearing no lingerie, since she really couldn't count the thong as panties!, but did she really need to suddenly have her carefully-hidden attraction to her Head of Security so blatantly tested?

She had first inwardly acknowledged her intense feelings towards Joseph a few months ago while in San Francisco to meet with Mia ... while dancing a certain 'Wango' with him. She, who had never taken any notice of men in THAT way, had found that she could scarcely take her eyes from him. She who had thought the strongest emotion she was capable of feeling was determination had just begun to discover the power of desire. Although their movements had been fluid and unified and their eyes had revealed their intimate desires quite vividly, both had maintained complete control over their actions and words. It had seemed that they were both agreed that speaking openly of any relationship save that of Queen and Head of Security would only cause heartbreak and despair.

At the Independence Day Ball that had followed Mia's spectacular appearance and announcement that she was accepting her birthright, Joseph had held Clarisse in his arms once again as they had danced, and had hinted of his yearning to, well, to be alone with her. Later that evening, when he had firmly grasped her hand and kissed it as he was taking her back to her rooms, she had known. He had tempted her then and still did now ... this man of gentleness and strength tempted her as she had never before been tempted in her life. Indeed, it was a new world of temptation he presented such as she had never truly believed could exist.

At her door that night, she had known that he had seen her uncertainty, and had known that what they were about to do was wrong ... and utterly crazy. Yet nothing could have stopped them. His lips had tentatively met hers, and she had swayed closer ... seeking more. She had thought herself cold, but at the touch of Joseph's lips, she had suddenly been on fire, trembling with the dual shocks of discovery and need. She had touched him, pressed her palms against the solid wall of his chest, tasted him with a little flick of her tongue, and she had delighted when she had felt the shudder that ran through him then. His hands had been hard on her back, drawing her closer as he had deepened the kiss. Had she had any breath, she would have cried out in sheer, exultant delight that the world held such marvels unknown to her for so many years.

Then he had stepped back, saying softly, "I should not have done this."

Clarisse had looked at him in bewilderment until the meaning of his words had sunk in, then she had stiffened and drawn quickly away. He had reached out a hand, but she had eluded him, her cheeks flaming, and had hurried into her suite, contriving to not be alone with him again before she had left for Genovia the following day. Rather than face him and the yearning his presence invoked, she had had to hide until she could regain control of her wayward self.

At the time, she had THOUGHT that perhaps what he was hinting at was love ... but none of his actions since his return to Genovia two months ago had reinforced that impression. Indeed, he had spent so much of his free time with CHARLOTTE that Mia had asked her grandmother once if Joseph was Charlotte's father!

"I mean, it's so obvious that they love each other, don't you think, Grandma?" Mia had commented, before changing the subject so abruptly that Clarisse had had no time to react.

Since that time, however, Clarisse had been very, very aware of the camaraderie and, yes, the LOVE evident between Charlotte and Joseph. Seeing them interact made her suspicious that Mia was on to something ... not that Joseph WAS Charlotte's father, or indeed behaved anything remotely fatherlike towards the younger woman, but ... Clarisse found herself wondering about the exact nature of their relationship and hated herself for it!

"Another warm day," Joseph's deep voice broke into her thoughts.

Clarisse covered her start of surprise with the ease born of years of practice keeping her public image emotionless. "Yes, indeed. I must admit to hating to have to spend even part of today cooped up in a room without windows, but Parliament is meeting after a while ..."

Joseph frowned imperceptibly. It bothered him watching her during the sessions of Parliament ... most of the members being old men who thought she hadn't a brain in her head. Still, what right did he have to feel such discomfort in watching her pander to the egos of these men? Indeed, he had mentioned the 'pandering' to her a number of times in the last year, and she had laughed at him.

Turning back to the window, Clarisse sighed as she looked out over the gardens. Wistfully she said, "One of the things that bothers me most about this strike, and I know it's a small bother, but ... I do NOT like the state of the grounds. Look at them! The flowers all need tending and weeding ... and the grass is in desperate need of cutting. What do you think I should do about it, Joseph? Perhaps we could hire an outside crew? I can only look after so many flowers and bushes personally ... and I certainly can't drive the lawnmower or those carts ..."

"You most certainly cannot!" Joseph agreed emphatically. "Your Majesty, the grounds are the least of your worries right now, I should think! You are forced to eat cooking that is far from haute cuisine, dress yourself, the palace is beginning to look dusty ..."

"But it is the grounds I love the most ..." Clarisse sighed, taking another sip of her fast-cooling tea. "And it is seeing the neglect there that hurts me the most ..."

Just then, Charlotte was back with the queen's breakfast. Joseph resolved to take it upon himself to cut the lawns, at least the ones right around the palace, and thought he could convince Shades to do some weeding in the flower beds closest to the windows on this side. Saying nothing to the queen, he took his leave again to put his plans into motion. With Parliament going to be in session, the skeleton security team could easily do without the two top men for a few hours ...

O o O o O o

Not long afterwards, Clarisse was bemused to notice that Joseph ... JOSEPH! ... was outside the office window, seated on one of the riding lawn mowers and cutting the grass. "What on earth ...?" she breathed.

Charlotte looked out and chuckled. "Well, he SAID he didn't have much to do today since you were going to be busy at the Parliament session. I guess he thought it would be cooler outside, and he could make things a little nicer out there."

"I suppose so." After another moment, Clarisse drew her attention away from the view outside the window and tried to concentrate on the papers in her hand.

The two women worked for a short time to the accompaniment of the sounds of the mower outside. Clarisse caught a movement out of the corner of her eyes even as she studiously avoided looking directly out the window. Standing by her desk, she pretended to drop a paper and stooped to retrieve it. Glancing out as she straightened up, she observed the languid ripple of well-honed male muscle beneath Joseph's shirt as he got off the riding lawn mower and checked something underneath it. Then, when he stood, he stripped off his t-shirt and revealed sweat-drenched skin alluring enough to make her heart stop. She was enthralled, fascinated, deeply impressed, and positively tingling. He was GLORIOUS! Far and away the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in her life. Her very palms itched. She wanted to run them over every inch of his magnificent body, over the broad shoulders that rounded into chest and arms taut with muscle ... over his thighs and calves that looked to be corded with steel under his tight trousers ... then back up again to touch him ...

Breaking out into a sweat that had nothing to do with the heat or lack of air conditioning, Clarisse's heart began to thump harder than it ever had before, a very irregular thumping. She felt light-headed and giddy, and wondered if she was having a heart attack, or merely another hot flash ... something she had thought long since gone. She struggled to breathe normally so that Charlotte didn't notice and fought to stand up and turn away from the view ... but Charlotte herself was staring openly out the window, her eyes wide, and her own breath coming quickly if the rise and fall of her chest was any indication.

Although she had never before experienced it, Clarisse realized that what was happening to her was that sexual desire was seething through her, hot and intense. Never before had she been so obsessed, and that was all she could call this, with a man. Most unfortunately, this reaction she was having to seeing Joseph without a shirt was the exact opposite of how she SHOULD be reacting! For months now, she had seen Joseph through a haze of keen awareness, rising desire and the strange, faintly-stunned realization that she was not entirely in control of the situation. Yet ... she HAD to be in control, absolutely and without question. There was far too much at stake – the country of Genovia, the future ... her private inclinations counted for nothing against her duty to her people. She ought to be ashamed of herself!

Clarisse took a deep breath, and then another, knowing that this memory would linger on in her mind, turning over in lovely, exquisite detail, finally managing to tear her thoughts and eyes away from Joseph. Then she noticed Charlotte still entranced by the half-naked body of a man old enough to be her father. "Charlotte!" she said sharply, making the aide jump in confusion. "Kindly pay attention to the matters at hand!"

"Yes ... yes, your Majesty! I'm sorry ... I ..." Charlotte's voice trailed off, then she swallowed and, with great effort, gathered her composure about herself like a blanket. "Parliament is meeting in ..." she glanced at her watch, "fifteen minutes. Viscount Mabrey has requested an accounting of all the costs incurred during your four weeks in the United States last spring."

Feeling the unaccustomed exclamation "shut up!" rising to her lips, Clarisse struggled to maintain her usual calm manner. "I see. Will you ...?"

"I have it here, your Majesty," and Charlotte rummaged in the pile of papers on the desk, and handed them to Clarisse. "They are fairly straightforward."

Clarisse ran a practised eye down the neat entries in Charlotte's tidy handwriting, and nodded. "Thank you again."

Charlotte breathed a sigh of relief that although Queen Clarisse had reprimanded her for not paying attention, she had not commented on her quite obvious daydreaming about the man currently weeding the flower beds. Perhaps Shades had not even been noticed in the shadows. Joseph had been driving the lawn mower back and forth, too, blocking her view of her lover ... no, her fiancé as of last night. Charlotte's eyes softened as she snuck a peek out the window again. Some day soon they would have to speak with the queen to get permission to marry, but in the meantime they were sharing their happiness with no one.

O o O o O o

After finally escaping the meeting of Parliament, and smiling secretly to herself at the thought of Joseph's wording as to her 'pandering to the egos of the men', Clarisse told Charlotte she wanted to go out to the garden for a moment to get some flowers for her room.

"Very well, your Majesty. Joseph was in a few moments ago, saying he has finished the mowing."

"I'm sure it looks much better now," Clarisse smiled, wondering why she was feeling a little let down by the news that Joseph was no longer outside. She headed out through the French doors towards the gazebo.

Before coming anywhere near the rose bushes, she heard a shout. "Your Majesty! Get away!"

Swivelling towards the cry, she saw Joseph running towards her. "The sprinklers!" he yelled again. "I just ... They're coming on in ..."

The icy cold water hit them both at the same time, the jet spray catching them from many angles at once, instantly soaking them to the skin.

Frozen in place by shock, Clarisse sucked in a breath, then gasped when Joseph reached her, grabbed her hand and almost dragged her at a run back to the doors. The sweeping arcs of cold water continued to drench them, and Clarisse marvelled that she could even wonder how her hand wrapped in the warmth of his was the only part of her which did not feel like an icicle. They had almost made it back to the safety of the palace when Clarisse lost her footing on the wet grass. She cried out and involuntarily tightened her grip on Joseph's hand in an attempt to stay upright, but all that did was pull him around so that when she fell flat on her back on the soggy lawn, he landed on top of her, forcing out what little air still remained in her lungs.

For several stunned seconds, it felt as though her heart had stopped as well as her breathing, and she became very, very aware of his body pressing down on hers. Her eyes widened as she stared up into Joseph's startled eyes, then a muscle clenched in his jaw and he was shifting off her quickly. "Your Majesty! Are you all right?" he demanded.

At last Clarisse could drag in a shaky breath and she managed to nod then struggled to sit up. The sprinkler continued to throw water on them, and with a muttered curse, Joseph gripped her upper arms and pulled her to her feet. "Come on, we have to get inside!"

Once in the ballroom, still panting from their unexpected shower and exertion, not to mention the fall, Joseph asked urgently, "Clarisse, are you hurt anywhere?"

The unmistakable note of concern in his voice drew her attention to him again, and she swallowed hard. Joseph, in dripping wet clothes, was every bit as eye-catching as he had been without his shirt. His wet black t-shirt clung to his body as if it were painted on. Her mouth dried up and she couldn't find a word to say.

"I think there's a towel in my office here ... come on in."

Wordlessly, Clarisse nodded again and it was Joseph's turn to feel as if he had been hit by a brick when he forced his heated gaze away from her lips and found himself eying, no, OGLING, her generous breasts outlined so perfectly by her soaking wet blouse which was no longer covering her effectively. He could see the shadows of her erect nipples tenting the sheer material of the blouse. She was not wearing a bra!

"Come!" he said roughly, and his abrupt words jerked her from her stupor.

She lifted her chin and stepped into his office, putting a safe distance between them before turning to face him. Crossing her arms over her chest, she watched him close the door, refusing to acknowledge to herself that he looked every bit as sexy from the back as he did from the front ... and that she knew now from first hand experience what his front had felt like when plastered up against hers. A feeling rather like a slow motion pulse of static electricity tingled through her.

"J-Joseph ..." She broke off her stammered words when he stepped closer to her, a towel in his hands.

"I feel it too ..." His words, spoken in a husky voice, combined with the way he was looking at her, ignited fire in her veins. She could feel her pulse throbbing in her temples and at the base of her throat.

Her gaze flickered to the door, then returned to his, and she summoned all her courage. "Then perhaps we should ... act on what we have both been feeling for months now ..." A combination of anticipation and impatience sizzled through her.

Clarisse's words reverberated through his mind, snapping the thin thread he had managed to retain on his control. In a heartbeat, she was caught against him. Her arms wound fiercely around his neck, their bodies strained together. Desperate to taste her, his mouth came down on hers, demanding and insistent. Her lips parted, dragging a groan of relief from his throat. FINALLY ...

The kiss they shared was explosive and wildly passionate, taking them both by surprise. Then he drew back slightly and the heated look in his eyes singed every part of her body. "Stop me now," he whispered, "or I'm never going to be able to sit at my desk again without thinking of you ... here with me ... like this ... You make me forget everything."

"It isn't me," she countered shakily, "It's ... I can't think ..." Her mouth felt acutely sensitive and her knees unaccountably weak. She wondered that steam was not rising from her wet clothes. Unable to resist, she kissed him again, her body pressed tightly against his, murmuring her pleasure with a sexy low hum in her throat. She ran her fingers under his shirt, and he shuddered with the sensation. Her hands stroked his neck, his shoulders, his back as she moved against him, mindless. She opened her heart to him, and loneliness fled.

Locked in a fierce embrace that was all heat, they almost missed the sounds of voices from one of the monitors. Clarisse tensed when Joseph untangled himself with a curse as Shades called to Charlotte that he just had to get something from the office, and he'd be right back.

Scrambling frantically, they both straightened their wet clothes as best they could, then Joseph stepped out, telling Clarisse he'd be back with some more towels. Clarisse sat on the chair and when Shades came in, she forced herself to smile at his astonishment.

"Your Majesty! Er, where's Joe?"

"I'm afraid I had a little accident with the sprinklers. I didn't know that Joseph had turned them on. I believe he has gone to get some towels," Clarisse said, trying to sound composed and hoping the man didn't hear the breathless quality in her tone.

Just then Joseph walked in again, and exclaimed, "THERE you are, Shades! I've been looking for you! Oh, your Majesty, here are some more towels, and please, DO forgive me for ..." He draped a large towel over her shoulders, and held out another.

"Nonsense!" Clarisse broke in, speaking briskly now. "It was not YOUR fault! You had no idea I was heading outside ..." She took the proffered towel and dabbed her hair with it.

"Joe? The sprinklers are on! Queen Clarisse has gone out ..." Charlotte stepped into the office, saw Clarisse, took in her bedraggled appearance and blanched. "Your Majesty!" Then she looked at Joseph and her eyes widened.

"Yes, Charlotte," Clarisse sighed. "He found me. Or rather, the sprinklers found me first. Joseph got me out of the way as fast as he could, but not fast enough to escape a soaking, I'm afraid."

Shades grinned suddenly. "Well, I'll bet it was probably the coolest you both were all day!"

Remembering the heat generated in the office only moments before and meeting Joseph's glance momentarily as his eyebrows raised, Clarisse's lips twitched in amusement before agreeing solemnly.

"YOU looked pretty cool yourself out there, Shades," Charlotte said. "I was watching you all day while I was slaving away in the heat inside ..."

Charlotte had been watching Shades? SHADES? Not Joseph? Clarisse was staggered by that revelation.

Shades chuckled. "And here I thought you figured I was cool ALL the time! I mean, I think YOU'RE pretty cool, Charlotte ..." He put his arm around her and hugged her.

"Oh, really!" Charlotte rolled her eyes, but she leaned into his embrace and kissed his cheek.

"CHARLOTTE? You and ... and Shades?" Clarisse stared at her aide, who blushed vividly before admitting softly that yes, she and Shades were, well, ... engaged to be married.

"If that's all right with you, of course, your Majesty!" Shades added quickly.

It was more than all right! Clarisse still couldn't believe the wave of happiness breaking over her simply because her aide was NOT interested in Joseph as she had previously thought. She couldn't find words to express her delight at the news.

"It really won't make a difference to either my work or Shades', your Majesty," Charlotte said earnestly, misinterpreting the queen's silence. "I promise ..."

"I'm sorry, Charlotte ..." Clarisse said quickly, "That's not how I feel at all. I am very happy for you! Mia ... Mia had said a number of times this summer that she thought you were in love ... but we both thought it was ..." Her voice trailed off, remembering how they had thought Charlotte's interest was in Joseph.

"Charlotte, I'm sure if you can talk Shades into marrying you, you can talk Parliament into doing something about the strike!" Joseph spoke up.

"I didn't ...!" Charlotte began.

Shades interrupted her. "On the contrary, Joe, I was the one who was desperate to marry her. Charlotte kept trying to wriggle out of it."

O o O o O o

The strike was over and the palace workers back to work at last. The air conditioner had been fixed, the laundry soap had been changed back to the original brand and it seemed that all was well in Genovia.

As she stood in her office one morning and watched the gardeners busy in the grounds, cutting the grass, weeding and pruning, Clarisse thought that, while she was more than happy to have the workers back doing their job, she was delighted she still had the memory of watching Joseph skillfully wheel the lawn mower around ... and the even more delicious memory of his bared torso. She almost choked on her sip of tea at that point. That afternoon, she had fully realized that Joseph was indeed the love in her life. Talk about cutting to the quick! She had certainly found that deep inside her existed a passionately alive woman ... and it had been Joseph who had cut through the outer trappings she had drawn around herself throughout her passionless marriage to Rupert.

She and Joseph had spoken of their interlude only once, and had agreed that it could not possibly happen again, however intensely both wanted it. It was far too dangerous. The von Trokens were still very much on the scene, hoping for something to go wrong so that their chance to claim the Genovian throne would come again. They had been so close to succeeding in their dreams at the time of the last Independence Day Ball, and if it hadn't been for Joseph, they would even now be the rulers of this land that Clarisse loved so dearly. No ... although Clarisse longed for a public romantic liaison with Joseph, it simply was not possible yet. They had to remain friends ... platonic friends ... in fact, barely friends in the eyes of all the world except those people closest to them. Whatever was between them other than the usual relationship between a Genovian monarch and the Head of Security for the Royal family had to stay hidden in the shadows.

O o O o O o

"Just get a broom and sweep it yourself if the dust bothers you," Joseph said absently to Shades. He was pretending to read about a new security system, and didn't need Shades' whining about the dust bunnies floating in the office. He had to LOOK like he was working while actually he was daydreaming again about that day when Clarisse had been in this office, and willingly in his arms. He wondered just how far they might have gone had Shades not interrupted them. He remembered that right before they heard Shades' voice, he had been rubbing her hips and had somehow dislodged the strings of the ridiculous thong she had been wearing that day. He had wanted to laugh, but kissing her was much more important, and he had never thought again about it. He supposed she had picked it up before sitting with her arms crossed protectively over her chest to hide herself from Shades' scrutiny. Now Joseph smothered a sigh and forced himself to really study the new materials on his desk.

"At least the workers are back at the table and negotiating," Shades grumbled as he stalked out of the room in search of a broom. Moments later he was back and still muttering as he swept under the various desks holding the monitors. "You could at least move your feet when I'm doing the housekeeping, Joe!" he groused.

Joseph lifted his feet without looking at Shades when the broom nudged him under his desk. Hearing a quick, indrawn breath, and feeling the total stillness of his second-in-command, Joseph looked up at last. Shades was staring down at the floor. Joseph's eyes followed the direction of his gaze ...

Clarisse's thong!

"Who the hell had a bunch of ribbons and lace ...?" Shades began, and bent to pick it up an instant before Joseph reacted. "It's a thong!" Shades said, incredulously, as he held it up and tried to sort out the ribbons. "A THONG!"

Joseph lowered his eyes to his papers quickly so Shades wouldn't see his expression and said casually, "I didn't realize you wore women's underwear, Shades!"

"It was under YOUR desk!" retorted Shades quickly. He smoothed out the ribbons, turning it over, trying to see a label or something. "Too bad it doesn't have the owner's name on it ..." he muttered.

"Right. I can just SEE that any woman foolish enough to lose her knickers in our office would want to broadcast her identity to everyone. YOU know how the maids can talk!"

"I wonder whose it is? How many women are still around the palace these days? Let's see ... there's Emily, the driver ..."

"Doesn't have to be just these days," Joseph commented, still looking at his papers, although he wasn't seeing them at all. His mind was working furiously. "Who knows how long it has been here? In fact, it has probably been lying on the floor there under the desk, or even got KICKED under there by accident, since before the strike! I mean, no one has done any sweeping in the security office or ANYWHERE in the palace for the last four days -- in fact, probably the last WEEK! It could be anyone's thong!"

"True. Maybe it's Lili's! She tends to wear sexy things! Not Mary's ... she's a little too prim and proper, with those long blue skirts and high-buttoned blouses ..."

Joseph chuckled. "Not always. Haven't you seen the red slip that peeks out now and then? Mary likes a little fun the way the rest of us do!"

"Maybe it's Maria's? She sometimes reminds me of someone who might be a NUN or something -- in another life. And if she ever stopped singing ... nuns have to be quiet, don't they? Maria's not that silent type ... not like Judith! Then again, the thong COULD be Judith's ... it's always the quiet ones who fool you, isn't it? They're not always who they seem to be." Shades fingered the thong again.

Now Joseph entered into the fun. "Well, as far as that goes, it might be Millie's ... she's modern enough to wear something like that, isn't she?"

"Thoroughly! Or maybe it's Samantha's! Except gossip says she obviously never wears a bra, so do you think she'd bother with panties – even a THONG?"

"Maybe not ..." Joseph considered. Then he grinned. "I'd say Victoria, but she often dresses in a fairly masculine way, doesn't she? Somehow she doesn't seem quite the 'thong' type!"

"Could be Sally's ... possibly there's more to her than the squeaky clean image she projects. D'you think she'd be so daring as to drop her thong here for us to find and wonder about? Or what about Stephanie? For all she's supposedly 'refined' as an entertainer, I've heard some of the words that come out of HER mouth ... she's a whole lot sweeter playing the violin, don't you agree, Joe?" Shades grimaced.

"Stephanie's sick ..." Joseph began, but Shades interrupted him.

"Right. I forgot. Okay, we know for SURE it's not Stephanie's. So, what about Amanda or Pamela or ... or Sarah? Think any of THEM would drop their thong for you?"

"For ME?"

"Sure! The thong was under YOUR desk! I figure YOU took it off her ... whoever 'her' is!" Shades grinned wickedly. "Maybe it's ... Felicity's! Except I'm sure she has something going with her nephew ... although from the talk I've heard, a few people seem to think that maybe it's that other maid, Moxie!"

"Well, they DO say that the maids know everything," Joseph tried to go back to his work, hoping that Shades would drop the subject.

Shades had other ideas. He leaned against Joseph's desk, pulling the ribbons of the thong through his fingers as he thought. "Ethel is married to an old poop, so she probably wouldn't have lost it, although you never know ... and Pierre's former nanny is probably too old and most definitely too big to fit into THIS, although she's a riot and I really could see her tossing it in here just to make us think ... Could it be Julie's thong? Hey, maybe it's Catherine's! She has that special 'something' about her ... and she's closer to your age, too, Joe! She'd be perfect for you!"

Although he tried hard to keep his face impassive, Shades must have seen something in Joseph's expression, because he laughed out loud. "It's Catherine's, isn't it? I guessed it! Builder Bob said she had the usual 'widow' look that was so easy to read – you know, ice, high-walled, don't touch, don't even THINK it – and I thought she had something going with HIM, but it must be you! As he would say, 'Damn, you're good!'"

Joseph sighed audibly. Builder Bob? Oh. Right. One of the maintenance men. "I'm good and don't you forget it!" he muttered. Then he got up and, before Shades could tighten his grip on the thong, Joseph had plucked it out of the younger man's hands. Stuffing it into his own pocket and making sure all the attending ribbons were inside as well, Joseph said, "It's probably Charlotte's thong, and what on earth did you think you were doing? Making love in the OFFICE? I never heard of such stupidity!"

"Hey!" protested Shades, turning a bright scarlet. "It's not Charlotte's! I know her kni ... I mean, it's not Charlotte's! We didn't ... not here ... Damn it, Joe!"

"I still say we have no idea how long this thing has been here!" Joseph wanted to change the subject and hope that Shades forgot about the thong long before the other man realized that the only other woman in the palace right at the moment was the queen. Then Shades himself gave Joseph his way out of the dilemma.

"Hey, I know! I bet Felix threw it in, just to get us security guys all mad at each other! It's the sort of thing he would DO! Just before he and the rest of the footmen left ... Yup, I bet he's the one. I bet Felix will bring it up himself sometime, really disappointed that his little joke fell flat! And if he DOES, I've got something on him. Do you know, I've seen him dancing in the hallway BY HIMSELF on the monitor about four times already? He says he always wanted to be a dancer, but his mother told him to get a 'real' job as a footman for the royal family ... so he did. Go figure ... Talk about impossibilities! Felix ... a DANCER?"

"Impossible things are happening every day," Joseph shrugged, thinking that his time with Clarisse the other day was a clear cut example of THAT!

"True enough," Shades agreed, unsuspectingly. "You know what, Joe? We should never mention this again ... to ANYONE ... That'll really get Felix ticked off!"

"Now that is the smartest thing I've heard you say today! We won't mention it to ANYONE! Now let's just drop the subject, all right? Shades, have you managed to get the wires fixed for that camera on the east side of the ballroom doors?" To Joseph's relief, Shades followed his lead and began talking business again.

O o O o O o

Joseph meant to return Clarisse's thong to her in private some time ... he really did. And indeed he did return it ... eventually. It just took him over five years to do it, and they were married by then. In the meantime, he kept it well hidden in his own room, taking it out every now and then just for the wonderful memories it evoked. Yes, impossible things could and DID happen every day! Felix, naturally, never brought up the subject of the thong, much to Shades' disappointment, and Joseph was very happy that the other man never mentioned the thong to anyone as agreed, because if he HAD, doubtless the maids would ALL have found out about the thong and probably would have heard the story of the conversation that morning in the security office, and neither man would ever be forgiven for the things they had said about the different roles played out in the royal palace of Genovia!


End file.
